Dance Party

Boy to girl at a dance party: Kya tum mere sath dance karogi?”

Girl reply: Main bacche ke saath dance nahi karti.”



Boy: Sorry mujhe pata nahi tha ki tum pregnent ho.

Titanic was sinking

Titanic was sinking.

Santa: How much the earth is far from here?

Banta: 1 kilo meter.

Santa jumped into the sea and asked again: "...In which direction?"

Banta: Downwards !

Banta's Dream Woman

Banta called his friend, Santa, and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?

Santa said, "Send her some flowers, and on the card invite her for a home-cooked meal."

Banta liked the idea, so he invited the woman.

The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal.

Banta, "It was a flop idea."

Santa, "Didn't the girl come to your house?"

Banta, "She did, but she refused to cook!"

Kids Ka Paalan Poshan

Ek 10 saal ka bachha bahot dhyan se ek book pad raha tha, jiska title tha: Kids ka paalan poshan kaise kare”.



Mother: Tum yeh book kyon pad rahe ho.

Kid: Main yeh dekhna chahta hoon ke mera paalan poshan theek tara se ho raha hai ya nahi.

Murde Kitni Aaram Se Sote Hain

Mohan & Sohan were sitting in a kabristan & were talking.


Mohan: Sohan, dekho yeh murde kitne aaraam se apni kabron mein sote hai.



Sare murde uth khare hue aur bole: Kyun na soye, yeh jaga apni jaan de ke hasil kee hai..!

The Internet Name

Short Term Memory Loss

Short boy: Doctor, I don't remember anything, sometimes on road I even forget

if I am going to office from home or going back to home from office.


Psychiatrist: In such a condition, you should check your tiffin.

 If it is empty then you are going to home, if it is full, you are going to office.

Teri ulfat ko kabhi nakam na hone denge....

Teri ulfat ko kabhi nakam na hone denge
Teri DOSTI ko kabhi badnam na hone denge
Meri zindagi main Suraj nikle na nikle
Teri zindagi main kabhi shaam na hone denge…

Anda Hi Kyun Deti Ho?

♥Cool shyamu♥ Ne Apni Math Ki Madam Se Ek Din Puchha
♥cool shyamu♥: “ Miss Kya Aap Murgi Hai? ”
Madam Hairani Se: “ Kya Bakwas Kar Rahe Ho? Main Tumhe Murgi Nazar Aati Hu? ”
♥cool shyamu♥: “ To Miss Aap Mere Har Test Mein Anda Hi Kyun Deti Ho?

Ishq Wahi Hai Jo Ho Ektarfa,

Ishq Wahi Hai Jo Ho Ektarfa,
Izhaar e Ishq To Khwahish Ban Jaati Hai,
Hai Agar Ishq To Aankho Mein Dekho ,
Zuban Kholne Se Ye Numaish Ban Jaati Hai..

Kutta Kaat Na Le

Boy and girl are sitting..
.
2 dogs kissed each other
.
Girl- jaanu agar tum bura Na

mano to main bhii?????? .
BOy- ok, par sambhal ke..,
.
kahi
kutta kaat na le. 

Homework & On the Bus

A teacher is talking to a student.
Teacher: Did your father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.

On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
"What's the matter? Are you sick?"
"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see an old lady standing." 

Thinking about getting married.

 Husband: Honey, I invited a friend home for dinner.

Wife: What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, all the dishes are dirty, and I can't cook meal.

Funny Husband: I know all that.

Wife: Then why did you invite the friend?

Funny Husband: Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.

Did you hear about ...

Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw?

Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)?

If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd."

90% Marks hai

Boy-Ro Q rhi ho..
Grl-Mere marks bahut kam aaye h.
Boy-Bata kitne aye h..
Grl-Sirf 90%
Boy-Khuda ka khof kar zalim itne me to 2 ladke pass ho jate

1 Kilo aatta dedo.

Santa: Dettol sabun hai?
Dukandaar: Hai,
Santa: Accha wala?
Dukndar: Ha
Santa: Acchi quality ka hai na?
Dukndr: Ha
Santa: Hath dhokar 1 Kilo aatta dedo.

1 Billi Pahle Se Hi Hai“ :-D:-D

Math Ke Master Ne Ek Din Class
Mein Pappu Se Puchha
Master: “Agar Main Tumhe 2 Billi
Du, Fir 2 Billi Du Aur Fir 2 Billi Aur
Du To Tumhare Pas Kitni Billiya Ho
Jayengi?”
Pappu: “Ji, 7”
Master: “Nahi, Mera Sawal Dobara
Dhayan Se Suno, Agar Main
Tumhe
2 Billi Du, Fir 2 Billi Du Aur Fir 2 Billi
Aur Du To Tumhare Pas Kitni
Billiya
Ho Jayengi?”
Pappu: “Master Ji 7”
Master: “Hmm, Main Tumhe Alag
Tarike Se Samjhata Hun, Agar Main
Tumhe 2 Seb Du, Fir 2 Seb Du Aur
Fir 2 Seb Aur Du To Tumhare Paas
Kitne Seb Ho Jayenge?”
Pappu: “Ji 6”
Master Khush Hote Hue: “Bahut
Achhe, Ab Agar Main Tumhe 2 Billi
Du, Fir 2 Billi Du Aur Fir 2 Billi Aur
Du To Tumhare Pas Kitni Billiya Ho
Jayengi?”
Pappu: “7”
Master Ko Ab Gussa Aa Gaya Aur
Vo
Pappu Ko Gaaliya Dete Hue Bola
Master: “Abe Sale Tere Pas 7
Kidhar
Se Ho Jayengi?”
Pappu Bhi Gali Dete Hue Bola:
“Abe Bhootni Ke Kyunki Mere Pas
Ghar
Par 1 Billi Pahle Se Hi Hai“ :-D:-D

Class Ki Group Photo

Class Ki Group Photo Dekhte Hue
Teachar Baccho Se Kahne Lagi Ki
.
.
.
Jab tum Log Bade Hoke ye dekogeto
Kahoge,,,
Ye Raju Hai Jo America Chala Gya..!
Ye Chandu Hai Jo London Chala Gya..!
OR Ye pappu Hai Jo Wahi Ka Wahi Reh
Gya..!
pappu gusse se Bola: or Ye Humari
Teachar Hai Jinka dehant Ho gya...

Master Ji....

Hindi Ki Class Mein Master Ji Ki Pant Ki Zip Khhuli Dekh Kar Ladkiyaan Zor Zor Se Husne Lagi. Master Ji Bole: “Zyaada Hehe Ki To Bahar Nikal Ke Khada Kar Dunga“

Bihari jokes

A Bihari went to a cigarette shop and asked for one Wills:
Bhai ek Will dena, so the guy selling the cigarettes told him that there is no brand by the name of Will, it is Wills, but the Bihari insisted and said I want one
Will, so the person told him unless you say it correctly i.e WillsI won't sell it to you, so the Bihari went mad and said
"Hum ek hi to maang rahen hain pura packet to nahin maang rahen hain".

Rakhi made our relationship powerful

Holi is colourful,
Deewali is lightful and brightful,
Rakhi has made our relationship POWERFUL.

Kya Bataoo Yaaroo

Kya Bataoo Yaaro
Meri Kismat Ki Kahani
Kuch Is tarah Likhi Gai
Jin Hatho Se Gulab Dena Chahta Tha